Virginia Woolf & Workshopping Second Draft (28/08)

In Retrospect 19

This post was originally titled "[CLASS] #23: Friday August 28th Class".

 

This was the last class before the week-long mid-semester break. We were checking out some essay quotes by well-known writers, and reflected on the most prominent one to us. Virginia Woolf's quote was especially important, as it not only has significance in N's and my relationship, but also encouraged me to tell the truth about myself in my essay. Even though I didn't go full out, talking about [REDACTED], I was as brutally honest as I could be about my feelings and my intentions. Felt fair to me -- so I can tell the truth about others in the future!

The second thing we did in class today was split off into groups and workshop each others' pieces. The results of that are easily seen above. This session was particularly important because I decided the central theme should be touch, rather than loneliness. Ali Cobby Eckermann's advice about writing from the heart fuelled that decision.

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Section 1: What is an Essay? - Quotes

The most striking quote for me from David's selection was,

It specifically moves me for several reasons. The first was that I first encountered it as a sticker on an electrical pole when I first met N in person. I had to keep him a secret from so many people close to me, since I'd been forced into a choice of study vs love. Naturally, the former had to win... outwardly, anyway.

Secondly, it's especially important because my piece requires great brutal honesty to produce such raw emotion that will resonate with the reader. 

Section 2: Workshopping my Close-to-Final Draft

I was randomly placed in a group with Shane, Ewen and Joey! Very excellent blokes to work with, for sure~ I'll jot down what they thought about my piece here:

Shane

• Found it really intriguing, I went even further than the first draft.
• Got great lines in there, "1 in 2. That's you and me."
• I should frame the second last paragraph, "Do me a favour. Bring the book up to your chest..." He really, really liked it.
• There's an important line that shifts the whole piece. "Sleep deprivation can make one irritable, anxious, fatigued and unable to concentrate, for instance." He believes I don't need this sentence in it. It didn't seem to line up.
• Shane wonders why I don't start the essay with "In The Five Love Languages..."
• The strength for Shane in this is touch deprivation, I don't need the BURNOUT section.
• Shane's closing thoughts: Very personal, generous, nonfiction conversation. He wonders how I felt in all of this, to several levels. How did I really feel about seeing G when I already have a boyfriend? It's a dilemma that would provoke in all of our minds. Sex shop stuff, first time there, I should get into it more than physiologically - was I embarrassed, or "Geez, that's fascinating!" Get more of a sense of how I felt. And on the park bench - when I got rejected, how did it make me feel? I described the rationale of why G said that, but Shane wants to hear more about ME in this.
  

Joey

•  Really liked it, was immersed deeply.
• When he spoke to his editor earlier, the editor felt as though most other writers were going to talk about their COVID experiences and it would be cliche. However, this wasn't cliche at all. It appealed to a lot of people whilst still being very unique.
• Felt there were a lot of letters around, G, L and N.
  
• Not sure what to make of this. Some of the best, most gripping parts, were when I described my emotions and how I felt about being touch deprived and my feelings for G. Joey doesn't know if more or less of this would be better, but he really liked those parts.
  

Ewen

• Most of his comments were what the others said.
• Ewen agreed with Shane that BURNOUT seemed a bit out of place and didn't match up with the rest of the piece that well. But he doesn't think I need to necessarily get rid of it. I could chuck it somewhere at the end, or intersect it?
• Discuss the relationship with the two guys, how it affected me once COVID came into play. 
• Recommended I keep L as just "my sister", since I only refer to her once or twice in the piece.
• Noticed that my boyfriend is very forgiving and supportive, it's almost too nice that he's okay with me dating this other guy with his knowledge. That was pretty interesting.

Ehehe, well, to that last point N says, "Just barely!"

As I reflected on my fellow writers' thoughts, I thought, "Of course! Why am I hesitating so much to make the obvious central theme of my essay touch... actually touch! I didn't want to focus on me entirely in this but... if I can really hone in on the emotional journey... that will still be a plague story within a plague story. Maybe my essay will really be about the plague of the heart, like Ali Cobby Eckermann said about her hypothetical approach..."

Yeah. That's the trajectory of my essay for the final submission, I think! Adding such a raw splatter of risque storytelling should really spice up the essay anthology for sure, ey? Hehehe~! Can't wait! The creative juices are flowing, but it's midnight now!

Well, ya heard me! Time to sign off, hehe. Goodnight! Signing off,

Katie, the Plague Wanderer