[CLASS] #2: Friday July 24th Intensive
1st Section: Nicole Walker & Creative Non-fiction Essays
The first thing that occurred in class today was watching David Carlin's interview with Nicole Walker, a non-fiction author based in Arizona, United States. For non-fiction specifically, she writes about the United States south west, climate change, body, essays about essays and particularly enjoys the braided essay format.
For me, the most striking thing she said was how she treated essays like an adventure, where you don't know where you're going, and that they have an element of surprise in where you end up.
I found this very jarring, because I dislike writing essays without a plan.
I personally view essays - or more specifically, formal essays, as a kind of concerto, with me as the conductor. They have to be tight, controlled and focused on the topic at all times. There is a kind of satisfaction in ending an essay with a big bang, and seeing the silent applause of a good grade and comments afterward.
Due to my familiarity with academic essays, I also view them as a scientific formula. I've grown so accustomed to them that while discourses aren't supposed to be black and white like mathematics, where there is a clear procedure to follow to a sole, correct conclusion, this is what essays have become for me.A simple formula, restricted by the boundaries of the task yet robust enough to achieve results indicating a higher mindset. The components are easy to remember. For example, the introduction;
- In the first sentence (or two), state the following: The creator, the work, and a brief summary of the text.
- Present the prompt or question, and my stance on it.
- Signpost my body paragraphs.
- Begin.
The notion of a creative essay, with unclear boundaries, is discomforting to me.
For many years, I've tried to perfect my English essays, always ending up several points shy of perfection. It's pained me when what I thought was a brilliant point turned out to not be fully related to the topic, and meandered in some sense.
Ultimately, I'm afraid of doing something... wrong. This... it's a publication. I can't afford to mess up here. I want my writing to stand on par with everybody else at least, not drag down the quality of our collective work. I want it to be of such high quality that it might possibly even be cited.
Upon sharing my earlier points to the class, David reminded me that the more we step out of our comfort zone, the more there is to be gained. That is true. I've been so... afraid of venturing out due to fear of imperfection, disappointment and disapproval. But I think in this home turf, with my friends also working towards the same thing at my side, I'm comforted by the fact that many, if not all of us, must be facing a similar kind of apprehension on this collaborative assignment. It makes me more confident to try.
A final interesting titbit David liked about my perspective was my view on essays as concertos. He asked if a work was in a musical form, like an aria or a sonata - what would it look like? Something to keep in mind for future reference.
2nd Section: Essay Machine Experiment
Our writing task this time revolved around creating sentences step by step, with the instructions steadily being revealed over time. This was meant to replicate how we don't know what the next sentence is going to be until we write it.
Here's how this experiment worked. David gave us an instruction for a sentence, and we would complete it. Rinse and repeat. He specifically asked for us to write one sentence, two at most for each entry. I was surprised by some of the staggering word counts other people in my class wrote on their devices.
- Write a sentence that begins with, "One experience that sticks in my mind from living in Covid-times is..."
One experience that sticks in my mind from living in Covid-times is hugging a pillow whilst in a video call. - Add sensory detail to the scene of the first sentence.
The yearning of touch-starvation crawls all over my skin. - Focus on another sense.
As I match their longing gaze on-screen, I say, "I wish I could hug you right now." - Discuss a memory connection to this scene. Start with something like, "It reminds me of..."
I'm reminded of how disastrously short every hug I've ever had was. - Add a sensory detail to that memory.
I miss hearing my friends hum in contentment as we embrace. - Make a speculation that connects the first scene and the memory. Begin with, "I wonder if..."
I wonder if I could ask them for even longer cuddles when we can hug again? - Zoom out, and look at this trail of sentence. Make a speculation of where it all comes from, beginning with "I wonder if..."
I wonder if I'm going to stay sane for much longer, isolated like this. - What do you notice about your feelings during the 1st, 4th or 7th sentences? Start with, "I feel/felt..."
I feel like I need more physical affection now more than ever. - Zoom out again, this time making a proposition about the world, somehow arising from all these sentences. Begin with, "Maybe/Perhaps..."
Maybe the world needs a lengthy cuddle right now. - How would you feel if your proposition about the world turned out to be true?
I wouldn't be surprised if this statement was true - in fact, I know it to be so. - Finally, return to your original sentence and make a follow-up observation that provides a sense of closure.
It's comforting to know that in any case, many other people would be hugging pillows in calls with loved ones too. We're, as cliché as it sounds, all in this together.
3rd Section: Pomodoro Writing
"[I] found that a lot of people like certainty, even grim certainty, more than the genuine uncertainty of what would happen next. If you pretend the future is pre-ordained, you don't have to do anything."
This quote was important to me because in Year 8, a teacher assistant said that I would undoubtedly become the 2018 Dux of my high school. Furthermore, I received a grand array of awards in Year 10. This led to me believing that becoming dux was fated, and I wouldn't need to do anything extra to achieve it. A few months into VCE, I realised this wasn't going to come true, and that there were always going to be people naturally better than me... I stopped trying so hard. I took pride in that I felt like I was superior in other aspects of life, that I was still intelligent. My favourite games involved puzzles, and I adored solving them. I knew how to effectively coordinate a team in a tactical RPG. How to write and analyse stories. I was smart in my own way. At least, that's what I told myself during VCE, disbelieving it on a deeper level. I do believe in it now, in my Creative Writing course. But that's beside the point.
The next part was to pick out an interesting quote and write about it under a Pomodoro timer. I noticed several people pick my quote, so hey! Must've been a good one. Or, maybe it was that it was one of the first quotes on the list, so easy to pick? Hehe. Anyway. Here's the quote I picked and what I wrote:
"The existence of books, no matter how grim the tale is itself a sign, evidence that humanity endures." (Jill Lapore)
"This quote reminds me Shikawa Yuuki's Ginga No Shinanai Kodomotachi He (trans. lit For Immortal Children in the Galaxy), which features two children and their mother living on Earth, which has been abandoned by humans 10,000 years ago due to an airborne contaminant created by fighting. The younger brother, Makki, is constantly reading books. He remarks upon the fact that humans leave books behind, long after their lives are gone. He wants to ask a human about how it feels to die, or their mortality overall.
I don't wish to linger on the die part, but more specifically the record of our existence in the things we leave behind, such as books. It's staggering to realise that yes, much information we have today was made by people centuries, even millennia ago!
It... makes me wonder what's going to happen to my legacy when I pass on, will humanity drown out and be forgotten by a climate disaster? Will all life cease to endure on this planet? Will aliens come to this devastated world one day and discover my work?
I think wanting to leave a legacy is ultimately why I wanted to be a writer in the first place. I want to be remembered.
But uh, back to the quote.
I don't really think that books are a sign of humanity enduring, because they could be our last remains long after we are gone. I would correct it to say that "as long as books are still being produced"... because then that would be more accurate.
Man, this Covid-crisis is making me think about what kinds of writing and stories we will see emerge from this year and the next. I joked with my friend Mary at the start of this pandemic with satirical quotes of us coming out of our homes like underground bunkers after a nuclear explosion:
"I looked down from my apartment window. I could see people hesitantly stepping out of their homes, gazing warily at neighbours, almost now strangers, from across the property line. They approached the fences, engaging in meek yet tentative conversation.
I saw children come out, their dogs right on their heel, yapping and barking with excitement, freedom. The road was empty - the perfect place for children to mingle and dogs to reunite or meet others, sniffing each others' behinds so eagerly.
I smiled, sitting on my windowsill, with a coffee in hand and a blanket around me. Like a mother watching their child get the gift she said she wouldn't get them.""
4th Section: Idea Generation - List & Discussion
- Celebrity culture - Open and dismantled, in some ways. I wanted to talk about celebrity culture in lockdown, like the cringey 'Imagine' sing-a-long; hypocrite fashion gurus telling their fans to stay home and be safe, but going to a party without masks and making physical contact; and actors bored in their lavish mansions sparking the ire of working-class people.
- Advertisement campaigns - Dettol, Vaseline and the Victorian government. I aimed to examine company responses, how they've been affected regarding the bottom line and how they've appealed to Australians.
- Touch starvation - How lockdown has affected social contact between humans, the feelings of unsatisfaction with just a video call, temptation.
Our first step was to make a list of everything that came to mind that links to the idea. It could include experiences, memories, people and characters. I primarily wrote down words for touch starvation:
TOUCH STARVATION:
- Desperation
- Rule-breaking
- Unfulfilled
- Skin-crawl
- Substitute
- Isolation
- Unsatisfied
- Incurable
- Unnatural
- Temptation
- Abstinence
- Insufficient
- Separate
- Alone
- Loss
- Video
HUGS:
- Touch
- Smell / Scent
- Rub
- Pat
- Tight
- Short
- Gaze
- Quick
- Squeeze
- Warmth
- Granted
- Contact
- Memory
- Affection
- Occasion
FEELINGS:
- Loneliness
- Jealousy
- Yearning
- Rage
- Envy
- Love
- Want
- Comfort
- Security
- Scared
- Need
- Missing
- Longing
PEOPLE/INTIMACY:
- Relationship
- Togetherness
- Lovers
- Friends
- Others
CONTAGION:
- Contamination
- Community
- Infection
- Survival
- Home
I then joined a discussion with my editing team. I share an editor with Rhianna, while Juno and Joey share another. I wound up abandoning my celebrity culture idea as I offered it to Rhianna, who is discussing class through examining Edgar Allen Poe's The Mask of the Red Death. Juno is looking to write about how writing helps us cope in traumatic situations, and Joey is interested in writing about Christian influence in historic plagues.
As a result of my discussion, I decided to write about my observation of human behaviour in Covid-times, with three broad ideas including:
- Discipline - Quarantine; you've wasted it if you haven't done anything/learnt a new skill.
- Temptation - Resisting social contact, touch starvation. Jealousy of other states/suburbs?
- Impulse - Rule-breakers; Big parties and gatherings, secretly bringing people over to places, KFC party.
- And where do we end up again? Staring at another lockdown in Victoria.
As I write this up now (4th section on Sunday, July 26th), I'm a bit unsure about my topic. My idea so far seems well-planned, like a normal academic essay with a great progression. But I think it's too structured to be a creative essay.
I'm considering changing it to focus on specifically social contact again, not wanting to let go of the emotional feelings in touch starvation, exploring the emotional impact isolation has had on humanity. I'm not sure if this will be too difficult to research though. I'll ruminate on this idea further in the upcoming days.
In any case, thanks for reading this extremely long blog post. I'm considering breaking it up, but it would be convenient to keep each day's events together. I mean, less tabs to have open later, right? Haha.
May my ideas blossom forth more in the future. I look forward to seeing what they, and my colleagues', will become.
-Katie, the Plague Wanderer
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